I find personal posts like this hard to share. It is so different than writing a post about hiking or visiting a beer garden. In those posts, you can see glimpses of what I do day to day but not who I am. I want this blog to push me out of my comfort zone and be a place where I can share anything.
My long distance relationship (ldr) with Spencer was a huge part of my life that I struggled through. It was a big adventure.
Some background. Spencer and I started dating during our junior year of high school. That’s right, high school sweethearts. (You can say “Aw” now). By graduation we were completely in love and I was completely heartbroken because we going to different colleges (Texas Tech and Colorado School of Mines) in different states (Texas and Colorado). Cue the tears anytime I saw Spencer, which was almost daily.
I would bawl. He would hug me and comfort me for hours on end. It was heartbreaking and we hadn’t even left home yet.
Come August, he’s 560 miles away and I’m starting college at a school I ended up hating. It was a really hard year. I ended up transferring to my dream school, The University of Texas at Austin, but that only meant Spencer now lived closer to 1,000 miles away.
We only saw each other on our major holidays… Fall break, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Spring break, and Summer. There was no way we could drive or fly up on a weekend because there wasn’t enough time, plus we were poor college students. Meaning we really were LONG distance.
How did we survive four years of long distance? I’m not sure. It was hard.
I think what helped our relationship most was that we were 100% dedicated to each other. We were both head over heels in love and we knew that once the four years were up we would be together. Thank God. We had also been dating for awhile before we started long distance. We knew and trusted each other. We had a very solid foundation.
We also talked constantly throughout the day. I know it sounds like a lot, but for the most part we always knew where the other was and what they were doing. Not in an obsessive girlfriend sort of way, more like we were sharing our experiences with each other. Spencer isn’t big on talking on the phone, so it was mostly texts or FaceTime. Which worked for us!
We’d also plan things to do together. Sometimes it was as simple as watching the new Game of Thrones together and then discussing it after. Or celebrating Valentine’s Day with a FaceTime call and sending each other flowers. Making time for little dates like that was so important.
But don’t get me wrong, we had our fair share of fights and tears. We did it but I would never want to do it again. Before I transferred to UT, it was really hard. I had a few good friends at Tech but I was in an unfamiliar place with no comfort from family. Last year, Spencer spent a month in San Diego for work and I stayed in Washington. It sent me straight back to my days at Tech. I was unfamiliar with the area, only had a couple of good friends, and had no family around. It was so hard. We both decided then that I would travel with him for his next trips.
Even though it was tough, I’m glad that we fought through it. Our relationship is one of the best things in my life.
I’d love for you to share any tips you might have for handling a long distance relationship in the comments below for any fellow ldr couples.